Monday, November 5, 2007

Made-up story about Hyles-Anderson College

I found this fabricated story about Hyles-Anderson here.

It says that HAC is trying to make a coin so America will never forget Bro. Hyles. It's really a funny, and kinda pathetic attempt at theological satire. The best part is where they "quote" Dr. Evans.

26 February, 2007

Hyles-Anderson College Proposes "Authorized Coin"

CROWN POINT, INDIANA

The excitement level was high last Thursday at Hyles-Anderson College. The fundamentalist school founded by the Reverend Jack Hyles finalized and submitted a proposal to the United States government to issue a one dollar "Authorized" commemorative coin featuring the late minister.

Hyles pastored the First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana for over 40 years during which time he founded Hyles-Anderson College, staunchly defended the King James Bible and forcefully spoke out against other Christian leaders as being 'liberals.'

The announcement was made to the student body during Thursday's chapel service. "This is an historic day." Said Dr. Jack Schaap, pastor of First Baptist Church Hammond and Chancellor of the college. "We are submitting this proposal to the United States Government as a lasting monument to the work of Brother Hyles and the King James Bible. This coin will be a witness of his work and the purity of the Authorized Version 1611 every tim
e someone spends a dollar."

The coin will feature a portrait of Hyles on the obverse along with the national motto "In God We Trust," and the standard U.S. coin information, the date and the mint mark. On the reverse of the coin there will be an artistic rendition of an open Bible, the phrase "e pluribus unum" and "The Authorized Version of 1611" commemorating the King James Version of the Bible.

"I have never seen such a beautiful coin." Said Dr. Wendell Evans, president of the college. "This coin is perfect and without error. It is pure, refined in a fire seven times. We are hoping and praying that the United States Government will see fit to authorize this beautiful coin."

But the celebration and enthusiasm may be short-lived.

"This is very strange." Said United States Mint Director Edmund Moy. "The United States Government does not receive proposals for coinage in this fashion. I'm not sure what these people are expecting will happen, but I can assure you the U.S. mint will not be minting any Jack Hyles coins in the future."

But Hyles-Anderson College remains confident.

"Our faith is strong on this matter." Said Schaap. "We are confident that the Authorized Coin will be approved and that soon millions of Americans will know the great legacy of Jack Hyles."

tominthebox

17 comments:

Julio Medina said...

LOL!!!! This is awesome.

Josh and Sarah Cox said...

You know this is a joke, right? I saw this posted somewhere else, and people actually believed it. Of course, I wouldn't put it past them! LOL!

What's Up Today? said...

@josh and sarah cox - Yeah, but it's really funny, because they sound so serious, and people are getting all ticked!

Julio Medina said...

People take a story like this more serious than the things that are really serious over there. LOL! It is a classic.

Anonymous said...

The whole coin thing is actually completely true. Bro. Hyles was a great man and he did more for this world than you will ever know. You should look him up. He was a independent fundamental bpatist legend. He helped people find Christ. He gave people a purpose to live. It might do you some good to find out a little more about him.

Sandra Gregston said...

Well, Preacher (Bro. Hyles) if he was alive today, would be out winning others to Christ, not hoping to get his face on a coin.

Same with his son-in-law Dr. Jack Schaap. He is out turning the world upside down for Christ, not trying to get Dr. Hyles face on a coin.

This is what happens when people do not like Christ and do not like the workers that they do (the work of Christ as depicted in the last chapter of Matt and as in the book of Acts).

Christ has had enemies and so will Dr. Jack Schaap. Oh well. He's still keeping on.

sales said...

I've got to agree with Sandra, as a former student of Hyles Anderson College, we have seen the tremendous impact of Dr. Jack Hyles, but he was not a man who really wanted fame though it came. He shed his tears for America and the people of this country, and truly wanted to see a great change, so a soul winner was what he was. He would've gotten upset at just the idea of his face on a coin.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Hyles was one of my hero's. He was a great man who fought for the King James Bible. Too bad the man that is pastoring FBC now is not fighting for the same thing.

Anonymous said...

wow yall are retarded

Anonymous said...

wow, i graduated right when all the good stuff started happening:)

Reforming Baptist said...

It's so funny to see people take Tom in the Box seriously and then react to it. It's a joke!

Ernest said...

I'd love to see Hyles' image on a coin!

Anonymous said...

This isn't made up.

Anonymous said...

I was student over 23 years ago whn at hac whn teachers belived and pastors preached belived only in kjv verson

Mighty Peculiar said...

Thou shaly have no other gods before me.

One of the many disannuled commandments when the Narcissist Jack entered the building.

Renee Wallace said...

Hahaha yep, "keeping on" is why Schaap is in jail today.

Renee Wallace said...

This, right here.